Friday, October 10, 2008

HOW TO MAKE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

Relationship is a way in which two people behaves towards each other. It may be among boys, girls, elderly people or couples. It is intensified through friendship. Relationship inculcated with the fear of God plays a vital role in the life of young people.

Nowadays young people believe that every relationship is based on romance without which such a relationship cannot be regarded as complete. This has so much lured the minds of people and the act of true friendship dies off. This is because people equate friendship and love.

The following are points on how to make a good relationship:

· Take good care of yourself physically and otherwise;
· Be neat, clean and well groomed;
· Open your heart;
· To have a friend, be a friend;
· Show respect for others;
· Do not demand perfection;
· Practice chastity;
· Accept yourself(Know your limits);
· Don’t be selfish;
· Be yourself all the times, never compromise;Keep your dignity of person safe.

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Monday, September 15, 2008

COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE

Communication is very important in marriage. It is important for spouse to share their thoughts, feelings and be sensitive to each other's needs. The main cause for breakup in communication is usually a lack of understanding between the male and female talk styles.

Maintaining friendship in marriage is something that cannot be over-emphasized. Friendship binds a couple together and makes them comfortable with each other. It is cultivated when they talk and listen to each other.

When communication in any relationship breaks down, the very cords that hold the relationship together start to unravel. Many marriages have ended up in divorce not because of the enormity of what took place between the two people involved, but because they just could not engage in effective communication.

When negative emotions like malice, un-forgiveness, bitterness etc. find a place in our homes; they open the door for the devil to come in. When we have misunderstandings, we must overcome offenses so that they don't result to malice.

There are two sentences that have proved highly effective in abating anger and quarrels; they are "I am sorry" and "forgive me". The more couples use these words when fiction occurs in their relationship, the more they will experience peace and harmony in their affairs.

One of the major factors why marriages fail is that most couples do not understand themselves. Men and women react differently when they are faced with challenges and except we learn how the opposite sex thinks and reacts, we remain incapable of understanding each other fully and hence do not understand any chance of having a successful relationship.

Every woman must learn to praise her husband when ever he his running through trough troubles, as this re-establishes his self-esteem. Encouraging phrased like "I believe in you", "you can make it" and other faith-filled words will go a long way in inspiring such men especially when the words come from their wives.

Hence, i encourage every woman and men alike to draw close to God if you wish to experience bliss not only in their marriage, but also in their individual lives. In order to have a good marriage, you need God and you need communication.

Friday, August 22, 2008

WHAT MEN SHOULD KNOW AS THEY START THINKING OF GETTING MARRIED

You do not need to have everything before thinking of getting married. There is always a day for small beginning for everybody.

The most critical aspect of marriage is choice making. In making the choice of a life partner, do not leave it in the hands of you parents, pastor or friends. You are the person that will live with the woman and not those people. Your satisfaction and not theirs should be uppermost.

Depend on God to direct you. Do not depend on your understanding. God who knows the plan He has for you also knows the person that will help you in achieving that plan.

Do not be afraid of bride price. It can always be negotiated downwards. You can pay in part and pay the balance according to the agreement you have with your parents-in-laws.

God will reveal to you who your spouse is through the usual channel. He normally communicates with you through a dream, a strong impression, an inner witness, or any other means.

Getting married should not end with thinking alone. You need to prayerfully begin to search. If you are serious God will help you to find.

Marriage is a divine and faith project. Take a step of faith to make a marriage proposal after finding your ideal wife.

WHY A MAN SHOULD THINK OF GETTING MARRIED

A lot of men have wondered why they should think of getting married. There are so many reasons why men should think of getting married. Few of these are:
• You are not getting younger. The earlier you marry the better.
• As a young man, you face emotional and sexual pressure. A lot of single men have fallen into immorality due to wrong handling of sexual pressures.
• At a time in your life you need a companion. This is somebody you can sincerely share your dreams and aspirations with
• Marriage brings favour and promotion from God. There are some breakthroughs in your life as a man that can only come to pass or be facilitated if you get married
• Many young men spend so much eating outside due to lack of a reliable hand to cook for them. Having a wife can solve this problem.

REASONS FOR MARRIAGE

People’s actions and reactions in marriage are influenced by their reasons for marrying. There are biblical reasons for marriage. They are:

• Companionship: God has a reason for creating you and bringing you to this earth. He also knows that you need a companion and helper to achieve the purpose of creating you. Your real spouse is the one that will help you realize your destiny. This, He sought to accomplish through marriage.
• Encouragement: At some point in our lives, we need a very close person to encourage us. Whether you are a politician, civil servant, or whatever, you will face some trying situations in life that, outside God, your spouse is the next person that can console and encourage you.
• Higher Accomplishment: Marriage brings promotion. This is because it attracts God’s favour when properly done.
• Procreation: This is to enable man fulfill the mandate of God in filling the earth not just with thieves, prostitutes and cultists, but with godly seeds
• Preventing Immorality: God says “Since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

A HAPPY SUCCESSFUL PARTNERSHIP

God has ordained that there should be perfect love and harmony between those who entered into marriage relation. Let bride and bridegroom, in the presence of the heavenly universe, pledge themselves to love each other as God has ordained they should. The wife is to respect and reverence her husband, and the husband is to love and cherish his wife.

However careful and wisely marriage may have been entered into, few couples are completely united when the marriage ceremony is performed. The real union of the two in wedlock is the work of the afteryears.

As life with its burdens of perplexity and care meets the newly wedded pair, the romance with which imagination so often invests marriage disappears. Husband and wife learn each other’s character as it was impossible to learn it in their previous association. This is a most critical period in their experience. The happiness and usefulness of their whole future life depends upon their taking a right course now.

Let each give love rather than exact it. Cultivate that which is noblest in yourselves, and be quick to recognize the good qualities in each other. The consciousness of being appreciated is a wonderful stimulus and satisfaction. Sympathy and respect encourage the striving after excellence, and love itself increases as it stimulates to nobler aims.

Though difficulties, perplexities, and discouragements may arise, let neither husband nor wife harbor the thought that their union is a mistake or a disappointment. In every way encourage each other in fighting the battles of life. Study to improve the happiness of each other. Let there be mutual love, mutual forbearance. Then marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very beginning of love. The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven.

In the married life, men and women sometimes act like undisciplined, perverse children. The husband wants to stay away, and the wife wants her way, and neither is willing to yield. Such a condition of things can bring only the greatest unhappiness. Both husband and wife should be willing to yield his or her way or opinion. There is no possibility of happiness while they both persist in doing as they please.

Remember, that God is love and that by his grace you can succeed in making each other happy, as in your marriage pledge you promised to do.

MARRIAGE

God made from the man a woman, to be a companion and helpmeet for him, to be one with him, to cheer, encourage, and bless him, he in his turn to be her strong helper. All who enter into matrimonial relations with a purpose, the husband to obtain the pure affections of a woman’s heart, the wife to soften and improve her husband’s character and give it completeness-fulfill God’s purpose for them.

The divine love emanating from Christ never destroys human love, but includes it. By it human love is refined and purified, elevated and ennobled. Human love can never bear it precious fruits until it is united with the divine nature and trained to grow heavenward. Jesus wants to see happy marriages, happy firesides.

You have united in a lifelong covenant. Your education in married life has begun. The first year of married life has begun. The first year of married life is a tear of experience, a year in which husband and wife learn each other’s traits of character, as a child learns lessons in school. In this first year of your married life, let there be no chapters that will mar your future happiness.

To gain a proper understanding of the marriage relation is the work of lifetime. Those who marry enter a school from which they are never in life to be graduated. My brother, your wife’s time and strength and happiness are now bound up with yours. Your influence over her may be a savor of life unto life or of death unto death. Be very careful not to spoil her life.

My sister, you are now to learn you first practical lessons in regard to responsibilities of married life. Be sure to learn these lessons faithfully day by day. Do not give way to discontent or moodiness. Do not long for a life of ease and inactivity. Guard constantly against giving way to selfishness.

Marriage, a union for life, is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church. The spirit that Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit that husband and wife are to manifest toward each other.

Neither husband nor wife is to make a plea for rulership. The husband is to cherish the wife as Christ cherishes the church. And the wife is to respect and love her husband. Both are to cultivate the spirit of kindness, being determined never to grieve or injure the other.

Before a man enters a union as close as the marriage relation, he should learn how to control himself and how to deal with others.
Husbands should be kind, patient, forbearing. Remember that your wife accepted you as her husband, not that you might rule over her, but that you might be her helper. Never be overbearing and dictatorial. Do not exert your strong will power to compel your wife to do as you wish. Remember that she has a will and that she may wish to have the advantage of your wider experience. Be considerate and courteous.

THE CHOOSING OF A HUSBAND AND WIFE

Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere individual will not advance his plans I this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want to choose for himself, but he will feel that God must choose for him.

Those who are contemplating marriage should consider what will be the character and influence of the home they are founding. As they become parents, a sacred trust is committed to them. Upon them depends in a great measure the well-being of their children in this world, and their happiness in the world to come.

Great care should be taken by youth in the formation of friendships and in the choice of companions. Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to link your life destiny. The steps you are about to take is one of the most important in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do not love blindly.

Qualities Expected In a Prospective Wife
Let a young man seek one to stand by his side who is fitted to bear her share of life’s burdens, and whose influence will refine him, and who will make him happy in her love.

In your choice of a wife, study her character, will she be one who will be patient and painstaking? Or will she cease to care for your mother and father at the time when they need a strong son to lean upon?

Will the one you marry bring happiness in your home? Is she an economist, or will she, if married, not only use all her earnings, but all of yours to gratify a vanity, a love of appearance? Are her principles correct in this direction?

Qualities Expected in a Prospective Husband
Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy. What has been his past record? Is his life pure? Has he the traits of character that will make her happy? Can she find true peace and joy in his affections?

Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who will escape future misery and sorrow, inquire before she yields her affections. Has my lover a mother? Does he recognize his obligations to her? Is he mindful of her wishes and happiness?

Let the young woman accept as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one who is diligent, aspiring, and honest, one who lives and fear God.
Shun those who are irrelevant, shun one who is a lover of idleness; shun the one who is a scoffer of hallowed things. Listen not of the proposals of a man who has no realization of his responsibility to God.